Musings on Postpartum

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition of postpartum is “occurring in or being the period following childbirth”.

I feel like this deserves some expansion, and it deserves a wee bit more of our time then just “the period following childbirth”.

Often the magic 6 week mark is what we think about. If you had a vaginal delivery then your 6 week check up is when the Doctor or Midwife makes sure all of your physical recovery look good, your mental space doesn’t appear to be horrible, and you’re off! Back to exercise, sex, and most anything else that you were doing before you squeezed a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon. Congrats!

In a conversation I was having the other day, a woman recounted a story where she watched her own mother working full time, raising children, and she had dinner on the table every night. That is what she remembered and so when it was her time to have kids that is what she assumed motherhood to be and the expectation she set for herself. At the same time she was wishing for help but felt like she shouldn’t ask for it. She felt guilty asking for help. She felt like she was drowning, and yet she didn’t want to inconvenience anyone else by asking for help.

Why do we do that to ourselves???

Society has placed this magic 6-8 week number on being postpartum, then like the magical unicorns we are, we’re supposed to *POOF* be unapologetically back as the Jaclyn-of-all-trades. It takes us over 10 months to incubate a babe to term, but then we get 6 weeks to recover. What kind of fucked up math is that? Really?

I have a point in all of this I promise, and that is being postpartum is a long term gig. Like forever. Yet this time frame is marginalized and neglected and doesn’t receive the recognition and care that it deserves. Then people wonder why mamas are overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, in chronic pain, or feeling like they are hanging on by a thread. Look no further friends, we are expecting super-heroism out of the strongest mortals and eventually even the strongest of them crack.

Ladies (And Gentlemen if you’re reading this) We deserve better then this. For ourselves, for future generations of child-bearing humans, and for the women that brought us earthside. It’s not a popular conversation, and it isn’t the easiest topic to bring up at family gatherings. But the only way we are going to see change and make it happen is by having these conversations.

I plan to start lots of them, from lots of different angles. I hope you’ll join in, I’d love to hear about other womens’ experiences during the first year of motherhood and beyond. Only by doing better can we expect something to get better. I’m on board for all of it mama, and there is space for everyone!

Over half way to 2020

Just typing that title made me a little queezy, I can’t believe we are already in July.

About a week ago my husband and I were siting on our newly finished patio, doing a play back of the weekend, when I went a little bigger and started replaying the past 3 months. I say that I don’t know where time went, but the reality is I know exactly where it went and fuck did it just blow right by.

In all fairness I knew that if I made it through March, April was going to take off, and I would wake up on December 31st and be delightfully surprised. However, when you are in the moment everything just seems to fly by faster then you ever give yourself time to prepare for.

April sent my to Columbus, Ohio to become a B!rthF!t Coach. I made the choice at the beginning of 2019 to go ALL IN on B!RthF!t (more on that in a later post) so Coach’s Training was step one. Bonus I got to briefly stay in C-Bus with some of my favorite humans, but that weekend is what made the ball start rolling.

In May I spent a week in Austin, listening to people that are smarter then I will ever dream of being, making some rad new friends, eating lots of tacos, and staying in a REALLY shitty motel. At least, that was the first part of my trip. I completed DNS Exercise 1 as another part of my B!rthF!t puzzle, and was given a glimpse at what I could be doing to already make what I get to do for a living better.

The back half of my Austin trip landed me at the B!rthF!T Summit. I don’t have the space in this post to go into everything that made the weekend life-changing, but let me tell you I drank the Kool-Aid and enjoyed every damn minute of it. I made connections with some of the most incredible people, I heard stories and passion from people just like me out there doing some Queen Shit work in their everyday. These people not once made me feel like I didn’t belong, and they reminded me again why I was called and then chose to bet all my cards on B!rthF!t and what it’s all about.

June was nuts with personal things, and now I have July to try and find peace while I also enjoy the summer that finally decided to show up in Denver. I’m still working at my normal place of employment, but in my vision my days there are limited as I look towards what I want to build in the future.

Coming up in the next couple months:

I am co-teaching a class with my Business Bestie to high school-aged girls beginning next week. I am beside myself to be able to share with these young ladies information I WISH I would have had access to when I was in high school. Obviously hindsight plays a role, but the power we are looking to give them will only help them navigate their lives both in and out of the gym for the better.

I tentatively have a new “home” to begin seeing clients. With this new space, my passion to train women, especially those in all fazes of the Motherhood transition moves to the forefront. I am currently putting together ideas and collaborations to offer the women of the South Denver Suburbs. As women, and especially as mamas we have SO MUCH on our plates all the time. It has taken me five YEARS to surrender to the fact that I need a community. I cant do to alone, and quite frankly I don’t want to. So I open my arms to the other women that feel that way too. We’re going to workout, laugh, get weird, and realize that we all have more in common then we thought. It’s going to be awesome so I hope you’ll come along.

I have exactly 5 months left make all the things I set out to do this year happen. Not sure if I’ll get around to all of it, but best believe I’ll nail the things that count.

Stay Tuned Awesome Humans

S

I’m baaaaaaaack

I maybe said that in a creepy Jack Nicholson voice. Or am I thinking the wrong movie? Likely the second, but whatever. February has been a weird ass month, and now that the final week is upon us I am done “thinking about” what I want to write and back to pushing the pink publish button.

In this over-full internet world there is so much to consume and so many conflicting messages and opinions that it can be challenging to figure out how you want your voice to sound. My brain has like 4 million tabs open at any one time and all of them are varying topics with different voices. All of them want to leave an impression and add value. Make you laugh or make you think or give you a hug. At the end I don’t know if they do any of those things but at least I enjoy sharing them.

I still have intention of expanding on the Simplification Shift, likely in March since I decided to stick my head into a text book for the past month and have neglected this little space. Can I tell you how over reading that particular book I am? I did learn some new information, but overall I found it to be rather underwhelming. I miss the money that I shelled out for it, but you’ll have that sometimes. Moving on.

So simplification, the motherhood journey, movement and health, and the importance of finding/ creating your community. To me, those things make up an awesome life, or they allow you to create the pieces that will in turn make your life more awesome. Cart or horse, either way it’s a step forward.

Stay tuned anyone that takes the time to give this a read, I have so many things I can’t wait to share here.

Later Awesome Humans

S

 

Constant Evolution

Does anyone else ever feel like they are on roller coaster that they cannot get off? I feel like that has been life for a while. I feel like anyone that has known me for any amount if time possibly wonders if I’m ever going to actually get off the roller coaster and move forward in life. Like if ALL the shit I’m always spouting off about and the things I say I want to do/ achieve/ accomplish are ever going to actually happen or if I’m just completely blowing smoke up their ass. Realistically I doubt anyone actually thinks those things of ME specifically since as a species we’re 90% self involved, so we mostly don’t actually care what other people are up to, and even if other people did think these things of me then its really not any of my business anyway SO. Now that I’ve word-vomited all that, lets get down to the real stuff, shall we?

I just re-read my initial post of what I want Actively Living Awesome to be. I’ve actually written that particular post about 100 times, but that iteration is in my opinion the best one. I’ve stalled out in building an online community for a host of reasons, including but not limited to- not knowing how to differentiate myself, LOATHING all things social media, having a really big picture idea but not narrowing it down, wanting to do too many things at once, and sucking at all things time management so everything I start I don’t finish. Man, that list is longer then I thought it would be. Truth? Maybe not.

I decided to make an investment in myself back in August, and THIS TIME I’m going to actually do something with it. Like, really. I purchased the Certified Pre/Post Natal Coaching certification through Girls Gone Strong and am finally deep into reading, processing, and eventually applying the information. But already, it’s not enough. Already I know, without a shadow of a doubt that this is the lane I am meant to travel in for the foreseeable future. This is where I WANT to live, and so it is where I know I will thrive as I push on. I’m not blind or ignorant to the fact that there will be challenges, set backs, and “God Damn Its” along the way, but it is so refreshing to not be feeling wishy-washy about something I want.

I have to stop being afraid of what others are going to say and think about the work that I want to do and how I want to choose to show up in the world. I’m not for everyone (Lord knows I never have been) and quite frankly I’ve spent so much time trying to garner approval from people that don’t even fucking matter that in the process I have been in a tailspin for almost 5 years. Fuck, no wonder I’m dizzy.

I am going to tell my story, the way I have lived it, and in doing so I’m going to offer ways to help other women, especially the mamas not have to experience things the way I have and hopefully allow them the strength and encouragement to see past the bullshit in their way to achieve their most Awesome version of life. I’m not always going to be politically correct, I’m going to have opinions that are different from what’s popular and what’s mainstream and I’m not going to filter them. I’m going to swear and not apologize for it, and I’m going to own up to my end of this place in this world regardless of how that is perceived by anyone else. I’m tired, I’m dizzy, I’m sore, and I vow to myself to show up for anyone else out there that feels this way too sometimes. We are all in this together, and somewhere along the way it feels like that has been forgotten. It’s “us against them” and then we wonder why we’re still sitting on that proverbial roller coaster, clicking up that hill for the 87 millionth time just wishing we could get off and do something else.

My car has pulled into where people get on and off, I’m getting off and I’m exploring the rest of this amusement park. Hopefully I’ll see you all around. Later!
S

What the Hell is Actively Living Awesome?

 

Actively Living Awesome(2)

I’ve been talking about this idea for about two years now, but there has always been something that makes me stop and not DO anything but keep talking. (If you know me, then you know I can be a talker. It’s a gift and a curse but, take the good with the bad right?)

This past year and a half has included almost as much personal change for me as the big move three years ago that essentially re-hardwired my entire existence. I started training people in a gym environment (something I had been talking about for YEARS) and realized that I had a passion that I could make a living at simultaneously. But there is something else that I love just as much (sometimes even more) and that’s helping the person build their strength in aspects besides the physical. Helping build the person, all the way around.

But here’s where I’ve gotten hung up, and why this concept of Actively Living Awesome hasn’t left a very small and close circle. Here it goes-

I am not the picture perfect trainer/ coach/ mom/ lifestyle whatever-you-want-to-call-it that you see on social media. I’m not, I don’t want to be, and a filter or two aside on occasion, I’m never going to be. It just isn’t me. I don’t have six-pack abs, I don’t eat clean all day everyday, I barley make it out of the house with my teeth brushed let alone with make up and a matchy-matchy work out ensemble from Lululemon. I wear about 25 “hats” on any given day, and I don’t want to “sell” something that doesn’t feel real and natural to me.

The people that I want to work with are the same way,¬† they want to work together¬† because I have the ability to help them figure out something or accomplish something that they couldn’t do on their own. It does take a village, so let’s build one!

Maybe that something is develop a workout routine that fits in during nap time while still having the time to get housework done and enjoy 10 minutes of quiet. Maybe it’s developing a new habit that will be life changing but seems unattainable. Maybe it’s getting stronger so the monkey bars at the park aren’t just for kids. Maybe it’s just figuring out how to set up the day so at the end of it there’s guilt-free gratitude with a glass of wine for all that is awesome in life. I want to work with these people because it’s what makes me light up, it’s the very best part of what I do. It doesn’t have to be hard, for anyone, but that is what I’ve made it for far too long.

So what is Actively Living Awesome? It’s a space to go for health, fitness and general life tips that help you live YOUR most awesome version of life. That’s it. I can’t tell you much more then that right now, because there is a whole lot of AWESOME going on behind the scenes. But what I can tell you is to expect an authentic, sometimes random, but always honest voice from an imperfect human with a pretty awesome life.

Are you in?

Sara