The Mom Health Crisis

I think that title is a bit dramatic, and maybe misleading BUT, I want to talk about it so let’s go.

The maternal health crisis is not the one to which I am currently referring (though that is a BIG problem that we as a nation need to address) what I want to talk about here is being a mom and putting our health last because we are managing all the other humans and all the other things ALL DAY LONG.

Somewhere along the way, it was narrated that as a mother we must do ALL the things, be self-sufficient, never get sick, be happy, be nurturing, and love the hell out of our kids, ALL THE TIME. Oh, and at the same time just be ok with being exhausted, burned out, and maybe just sad/angry/miserable because that is what motherhood is all about.

Sister-Mama-Friend, I’m not about this life. If any of what I just wrote above resonates with you it’s time for you to not be about it either.

I read somewhere (probably on Pinterest) something like “Mom’s don’t get sick, we don’t have time for that shit” and it’s true but it’s also wrong. There are jokes galore about the “man cold” but seriously, why is it that when we hit our wall it’s just expected that we’ll suck it up and keep at it because it’s just what we are supposed to do?

I’m going to raise my hand right now and say that I have been guilty, on numerous occasions. I have to be knocked down so hard I cannot physically leave my home in order to stop. Or, rather, that was me. Now (in this moment) I can tell you that when I need to stop, I stop.

Taking care of ourselves is NOT a selfish act. I’d argue choosing martyrdom over not taking care is a greater slight.

Before I go any further, I’ll be transparent and say I come from what would be considered a space of “priviledge” to say these things. I have a husband/partner that takes responsibility for the role he plays in our children’s lives and is an active participant in our daily routine. I have my own business and I make my own schedule. I am usually in command of how I spend my time (that isn’t an accident) so my ability to make my health and wellness a priority has been a non-negotiable as well as being part of my job.

But back to my point, Mom’s bust their butts all day and take care of everyone else before they take care of themselves. I’m not just talking about flowery “self-care” like bubble bath’s with scented candles, getting your nails done, or getting a massage (Personally I find that those hurt like a SOB and so while they are self-care and necessary they are NOT what I call relaxing). I’m referring to the act of consciously choosing to make our health (of which self-care is a part) a priority.

Raise your hand if any of the following sound like you:

  • Hit a wall by 3pm
  • Need coffee to get it together in the morning, or anytime during the day
  • Bloated and uncomfortable even when you aren’t pregnant, PMSing or just ate Chipotle
  • All the Brainfog
  • Tired as hell but can’t fall asleep at night
  • Little to zero sex drive

All of these things are common, and I’m willing to bet you’ve assumed most of them just come with being a mom. Common and normal are not the same thing, and everything on that list is a signal from your body that it wants you to pay attention. But we don’t because #momlife.

Well Mamacita, if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired I’m here for you. None of the symptoms mentioned above just disappear and go away. There is a reason your body is communicating with you through these symptoms (inflammation, auto-immune disease, food allergy or intolerance, hormone imbalance, adrenal fatigue, etc) even if your primary care physician has told you everything is “normal”.

The road is often long, and sometimes it isn’t pleasant, but after the shitstorm that was 2020 I learned that if I don’t have a vested interest in my own health, then only those that profit from me being unwell will.

You keep fifty balls in the air at all times Mama, sometimes those balls crash down, and sometimes you need to put a few to the side so that you can take care of you and get them back in the mix. Taking your health and wellness seriously isn’t selfish, it isn’t out of your reach, and you and everyone around you will benefit if you decide it’s worth your focus. Take care, and we’ll navigate together.

Your fellow Mama in Wellness

~S

These are my thoughts, not yours (or maybe some of them are yours too).

This past week has been nothing short of overwhelming, and while I am optimistic that it will in fact be a short-lived experience that doesn’t mean it isn’t a whole hell of a lot to take in.

If you have followed me for any length of time (or if you know me personally) then you know that it takes quite a bit to get a rise out of me. I do rant, but I honestly don’t care about much of anything enough to really allow outside factors have any control.

I love engaging with people and getting to know their stories and I love sharing my own with people that allow me to do so. On the flip side I need quiet and space that is my own to recharge and reflect. Especially after I have interacted with others all day long.

Social media is a tool for me to engage and share my passion for fitness, wellness, and working with moms trying to do those things and more while raising kids. It has also become a place that steals my energy and makes me want to disengage completely. It makes me anxious, and feel like a hamster running tirelessly in a wheel. It makes my skin crawl, and I don’t like it.

Maybe it’s just me (I don’t think it is) but completely shutting off social isn’t the answer either. Not when I am in a growth stage of my business. What it does mean is that I need to be REAL intentional about the content I consume and how much time I spend on each social platform.

And I’m going to go out on a limb and say maybe that isn’t a bad idea for anyone else either.

Many of us are now home with our kids for 2-3 weeks. Instead of burying our noses in our phones (which I am guilty of too) why not limit the screen time? Let’s be real, how many of us REALLY need the connection to our phones we’ve become so dependent on? Even having an online business, I don’t need to spend the amount of time that I do on my phone. It makes me feel like shit, and it’s setting an example of valuing a stupid box more then I value the actual connection with another person.

So, over the next couple weeks here is a list of things I’m going to do while waiting out the social distancing protocol.

  1. Limit my phone screen time to 2 hours a day. Yes this sounds like quite a bit, and honestly I’d like to cut that in half. I need to figure out how much time it will take me to post and record and all the batching required for my social content. Once that is done, I’m out.
  2. Spend at least 30 minutes outside. Pending no epic snowstorms or super crazy wind, I have no excuse not to be able to do this. Sunshine and vitamin D are good for us, so is fresh air. Taking a walk always grounds and resets me, and I’ll have ample opportunity in the coming weeks.
  3. Read for at least an hour a day. I’m currently working on The Beautiful for pleasure reading, and Money, A Love Story for personal development. Both are really enjoyable so this one shouldn’t be too hard to implement.
  4. Lots of at home meals. We live this way more often then we don’t, and as long as some of the chaos in the grocery stores settles down this won’t be hard. Family dinners are something that I look forward to, and since we won’t be running all over for practices, and my in-person training schedule is thinned for the coming weeks I’m looking forward to more meals with my three favorite humans.
  5. Time dedicated to things I never seem to have time to do. This one could be a stretch but I’m going to go with now not having an excuse to get certain avoided tasks done because I can’t leave and go do other things. I’ll see how it goes, but might as well make the most of the time I have.
  6. Breathing Breaks. I’ll be exercising, but I’ll also be taking time to breathe. I do it often, but I don’t do it enough. More intentional breathing, less consumption of garbage that clogs brainwaves. I’m thinking maybe this quarantine isn’t such a bad thing after all.

I think this whole thing is going to blow over by the beginning of April, and hopefully life will begin to have a semblance of normalcy back. If not, we’ll do what we need to do and in the meantime I can be optimistic.

Until next time Awesome Humans!
~S